Should You Get Married to Fix Porn and Masturbation Struggles?
St. Paul didn’t pull punches. When he wrote, “It is better to marry than to be aflame with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:9), he wasn’t sugarcoating anything. But does that mean marriage is the fix for struggles with porn and masturbation? Not at all.
St. Paul Was a Radical—But You’re Not Him
Paul was all-in. His life wasn’t about comfort, personal fulfillment, or even good things like marriage and family. It was about complete, undistracted devotion to God. I’ve met a few people who live like that. It’s inspiring. But for most of us, if we tried to imitate Paul without grace, it wouldn’t be real—it wouldn’t be us.
That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t challenge ourselves. It just means that radical devotion looks different for different people. For some, that will mean lifelong singleness, a full pursuit of God’s mission without the ties of marriage. For others, it will mean marriage and family—but a marriage that serves a bigger purpose than just personal happiness.
Does Marriage Make You More Holy?
Marriage doesn’t automatically make you more spiritual, just like singleness doesn’t automatically make you more devoted to God. What marriage does do is anchor you in the present. You have a spouse, children, financial responsibilities—things that tie you more closely to the material realities of life. This can be a good thing, as it forces you to grow in patience, self-sacrifice, and service. But it can also make it harder to untether from the distractions of the world and focus solely on God.
Marriage doesn’t fix your struggles—it reveals them. If you’re using porn and masturbation to escape stress, loneliness, or deep-seated wounds, getting married won’t magically take those struggles away. Instead, those same issues will show up in new ways—in the way you interact with your spouse, in how you handle conflict, in what you do when your expectations for intimacy aren’t met.
Don’t Use Marriage as an Escape
There’s a dangerous mindset that says, “If I just get married, I won’t struggle with lust anymore.” The reality is, if you don’t deal with the root issues now, they’ll follow you into marriage. The reason most guys turn to porn and masturbation isn’t just because of sexual desire. It’s because their brain has learned to use it as a coping mechanism—for stress, boredom, loneliness, rejection, or any other kind of discomfort.
So if you’re single and struggling with porn, don’t rush into marriage thinking it’s the cure. Instead, do the deep work. Ask yourself:
What emotions or triggers drive me toward porn?
What am I trying to escape when I turn to it?
How can I learn to handle discomfort in a healthy way?
If you do that work now, you’ll be in a much better place whether you eventually marry or stay single.
The Call to Something Greater
Ultimately, Paul’s words aren’t just about avoiding lust. They’re about total devotion to God. Whether you’re single or married, the real question is: How can I give more? How can I let go of comfort and live fully for God?
Marriage isn’t a shortcut to holiness, and singleness isn’t a guarantee of it. But both paths, when pursued with intention, can lead to a life that’s truly free—free from addiction, free from distractions, and free to love God with everything you have.