If You Slip Up After Resolving to Quit Sexual Sin, Can You Still Celebrate Progress?
Let's say someone resolves to stop acting out sexually but then sometime in the next week or month slips up. Is it okay to still be happy that they made progress (in time between occurrences, or at the very least in their mindset towards acting out) even though they still acted out?
Absolutely. And here’s why.
When someone decides to break free from sexual sin—whether it’s porn, masturbation, or anything else—it’s not usually a one-and-done battle. It’s a process. And in that process, setbacks can happen. But does that mean all progress is lost? No. And believing otherwise is actually counterproductive to real change.
The Importance of a Positive Appraisal
Making a positive appraisal of your progress is not about excusing sin. It’s about keeping your thinking brain on.
When you mess up and immediately jump to “I’m a failure” or “I’ll never change”, what happens? Your brain goes into shut-down mode. That’s shame talking. And shame doesn’t lead to repentance—it leads to hiding. It makes you want to give up, check out, and stop trying.
Guilt, on the other hand, is different. Guilt is an executive function—meaning it’s something your rational brain engages in. It allows you to acknowledge where you fell short without losing sight of who you are and where you’re going.
So when you look back at your progress, instead of thinking, “I messed up, so I’m back to square one,” a healthier response is:
“I made it longer than before. That’s progress.”
“I noticed my triggers more this time. That’s a win.”
“I didn’t immediately spiral after slipping up. That’s growth.”
These kinds of reflections keep your thinking brain on, which is exactly what you need to continue moving forward.
Why Shame Keeps You Stuck
Shame operates by shutting you down. It’s an intense emotional response designed to make you look away from the problem, to feel unworthy of change, and to disconnect from the very things that will help you heal.
It’s why so many people, after one failure, think, “Well, I already messed up, so what’s the point?” and then binge on porn or keep repeating the sin. It’s the all-or-nothing trap, and it keeps people locked in cycles of failure.
But what if, instead of spiraling, you practiced self-compassion with accountability?
That means:
Owning the mistake – No excuses, no minimizing.
Recognizing the progress – Maybe you made it longer than before. Maybe your mindset is shifting. Maybe you’re more aware.
Recommitting immediately – Not out of shame, but out of a deep desire to live in the freedom God has for you.
Progress Isn’t Perfection—But It’s Still Progress
If you’re serious about breaking free, you have to start seeing growth as real growth—even if you’re not at the finish line yet.
Would you tell someone who’s been working out and eating right for months, but then had one bad meal, “Well, you failed. You’re back to square one”? No. That’s ridiculous. The same is true here.
So, if you slip up, recognize it, own it, but don’t let it define you. Look at the progress, stay engaged, and keep going. The only real failure is giving up.